Team member of the 48 gets corked in the eye

Yesterday’s NASCAR Sprint Cup race at Kansas Speedway marked the resurgence of one Jimmy Johnson and solidified his place as a contender for the championship. His sixth as a matter of fact. In a row. Johnson won the Hollywood Casino 400 in dominating fashion and to make things sweeter this was his 55th NASCAR Sprint Cup win overall tying Rusty Wallace for eighth on the all-time Cup win list. So, a reason to celebrate. A reason to get a little crazy. But Johnson took his celebrating a bit too far in victory lane. Johnson’s crew chief Chad Knaus describes the scene. “I saw him [Johnson] reach for the champagne bottle, you know like most drivers do when they are in victory lane, but there was this look in his eyes. A look like back the fuck up, cause this shits about to go down. It was that same look when he was riding on top of that golf cart and flew off and ended up breaking his wrist. You know, he’s just got this crazy switch sometimes and he can’t turn it off unfortunately until someone gets hurt.” And unfortunately, someone did. A teammate of the 48. Knaus continued, “Well, I started to back away and pretend I was like high-fivin somebody when he just began frantically shaking the champagne bottle. I mean he shook this thing like he was shakin’ a salt shaker.” Knaus went on to explain, “Any Physics major will tell you, a highly carbonated liquid confined in an air tight container is very volatile. One or two shakes and you have got some kind of explosion on your hands.” Knaus goes on to say that Johnson shook the bottle about ten times the recommended amount. What ensued after that can only be described as a tragedy. All of that carbonated pressure caused the champagne cork to rocket out at a force much greater than the torque of an 850 horsepower stock car engine could even imagine exerting. In just under half a second that cork had been fired right in to the eye of Johnson’s teammate leaving him blinded, screaming and crying on the confetti laced floor. “I have never heard such a girly scream.”, stated an onlooker. Johnson had no idea what he had done. When asked about the incident he replied, ” That guy normally screams like that. Every time I win, or when Mc Donalds brings the McRibb back he screams like that. So when I heard it I thought he was just excited and happy.” That was far from the case. Johnson went on to try and put a positive spin on a very somber scene. “I guess the one good thing about this is that the guy was really not that good. I mean I don’t even know his name. He needed to be let go and this just kind of helped make all that happen without getting anybody’s feelings hurt.” Yes, having to fire someone isn’t easy. And with Johnson being so close to winning his 6th championship in a row he needs the best team standing next to him. Just be sure to stand clear of him in victory lane.