alittleloose

Kyle Busch can sing. No really, he can sing!

alittleloose — Wed, 02 Nov 2011 21:09:11 +0000

When Kyle Busch, driver of the number 18 M&M’s Toyota Camery, agreed to do a commercial for his manufacturer he thought nothing of it. Like most commercials he figured he would run around in his driver suit, say a few cheesy lines and drive off in his hotrod. But when he saw the commercial for the first time while watching the X-Factor the words that came out of his mouth were far from cheesy. “I was like what the [expletive]!” Exclaimed Busch. “I had no idea they had a camera on me when I was driving home after the shoot. I couldn’t believe they tricked me like that. It’s bull [expletive]!”

For those of you who have not seen the Toyota commercial the very end has Busch driving home after a long day at the race track. He turns on his Pandora radio to Loverboy’s “Everybody’s Working for the Weekend” and proceeds to sing along. ” Singing it was not. It was more like he was going through puberty.” Stated Kevin Harvick. “My dogs can sing better than that.” Yes, its pretty bad. But in Busch’s defense he had no idea Toyota had placed a hidden camera in his car and he is furious about it. If you haven’t seen the commercial here it is:

Who wouldn’t be embarrassed after knowing everybody heard you sing so off key. Not to mention your first song choice was by Loverboy. “It’s just not fair”, says Busch. “I can sing damnit! I sing really well. My whole family says I have a great voice like that guy from Nickelback. Ask my brother! That song doesn’t showcase my talent and I had a sinus infection that day. I’m actually planning on auditioning for American Idol.” We got in touch with Randy Jackson from American Idol and asked him to critique Busch’s singing in the commercial. His response, ” Yo yo see, his falsetto was way off dude.”

As much as Busch thinks he can really sing, he just can’t. But what he can do is drive. And that’s what he needs to focus on. He sits 7th in the points with just three races remaining. If he can get it in gear and get over his vocal performance he’ll be singing all the way to the bank come Homestead. He’ll just sound like a 12 year old boy who’s nuts haven’t dropped yet.

The fine art of pole sitting

alittleloose — Fri, 14 Oct 2011 19:12:37 +0000

Tony Stewart will lead 42 other drivers at the start of the Bank of America 500 in Charlotte Saturday night. Why Tony you ask? Well, simply put, he sits on the pole, and he really enjoys siting on it. “You know there are a lot of other guys out there working their mojo trying desperately to be the one who gets to sit on the pole. It’s so gratifying to know I worked the hardest to sit on it. Hell, it’s just gratifying to actually sit on it”, explained Stewart with a wink. There have been many pole positions throughout NASCAR’s history. But the positioned loved the most by divers is the one where they get to sit on it. Look at Jeff Gordon. Don’t tell me this guy doesn’t like to sit on a pole every once in a while. In his NASCAR career he has done it a total of 63 times. Thats a lot of poles and a lot of sitting. Back in 1992 he set a record for sitting on the most poles in a season. Eleven. This guy loves the pole. He needs the pole. Take Ryan Newman. Now he gets around. The race track that is. Back in 2002 he sat on six different poles. Newman: “It was my first full year in the sport. I was pretty nervous and tense. After I sat on my third pole I really figured out how to relax and just experience the whole act. I mean those poles are really big for me and I really enjoy taking them all in.”

Getting on top that pole is not as easy as some make it out to be. It’s not uncommon to get knocked off the pole as a matter of fact. You can imagine the frustration of sitting on a pole, locked into the feeling of having that pole in your hands only to have someone else steal it and sit on it. It would leave any man frustrated and blue…in the face. But there is an art to pole sitting. Newman and Gordon figured it out long ago. Gordon explains, “You gotta be loose man. You gotta be the loosest guy out there. If you are the loosest you’ll have an easier time sitting on the pole.” Loose equals fast in NASCAR and lately Tony has been loose. Two wins already in this years chase for the championship and now he is sitting firmly on top the pole Saturday night. Stewart concluded shouting on top the pole, “It feels good! oh god it feels good!”

Excessive celebration causes injury to 48 team

alittleloose — Mon, 10 Oct 2011 19:39:13 +0000

Team member of the 48 gets corked in the eye

Yesterday’s NASCAR Sprint Cup race at Kansas Speedway marked the resurgence of one Jimmy Johnson and solidified his place as a contender for the championship. His sixth as a matter of fact. In a row. Johnson won the Hollywood Casino 400 in dominating fashion and to make things sweeter this was his 55th NASCAR Sprint Cup win overall tying Rusty Wallace for eighth on the all-time Cup win list. So, a reason to celebrate. A reason to get a little crazy. But Johnson took his celebrating a bit too far in victory lane. Johnson’s crew chief Chad Knaus describes the scene. “I saw him [Johnson] reach for the champagne bottle, you know like most drivers do when they are in victory lane, but there was this look in his eyes. A look like back the fuck up, cause this shits about to go down. It was that same look when he was riding on top of that golf cart and flew off and ended up breaking his wrist. You know, he’s just got this crazy switch sometimes and he can’t turn it off unfortunately until someone gets hurt.” And unfortunately, someone did. A teammate of the 48. Knaus continued, “Well, I started to back away and pretend I was like high-fivin somebody when he just began frantically shaking the champagne bottle. I mean he shook this thing like he was shakin’ a salt shaker.” Knaus went on to explain, “Any Physics major will tell you, a highly carbonated liquid confined in an air tight container is very volatile. One or two shakes and you have got some kind of explosion on your hands.” Knaus goes on to say that Johnson shook the bottle about ten times the recommended amount. What ensued after that can only be described as a tragedy. All of that carbonated pressure caused the champagne cork to rocket out at a force much greater than the torque of an 850 horsepower stock car engine could even imagine exerting. In just under half a second that cork had been fired right in to the eye of Johnson’s teammate leaving him blinded, screaming and crying on the confetti laced floor. “I have never heard such a girly scream.”, stated an onlooker. Johnson had no idea what he had done. When asked about the incident he replied, ” That guy normally screams like that. Every time I win, or when Mc Donalds brings the McRibb back he screams like that. So when I heard it I thought he was just excited and happy.” That was far from the case. Johnson went on to try and put a positive spin on a very somber scene. “I guess the one good thing about this is that the guy was really not that good. I mean I don’t even know his name. He needed to be let go and this just kind of helped make all that happen without getting anybody’s feelings hurt.” Yes, having to fire someone isn’t easy. And with Johnson being so close to winning his 6th championship in a row he needs the best team standing next to him. Just be sure to stand clear of him in victory lane.

Ryan Newman loves turtlenecks. Unfortunately, his neck doesn’t.

alittleloose — Sat, 08 Oct 2011 18:44:15 +0000

The passing of Steve Jobs last week left the world in dismay. Jobs was as innovative as they came with a perspective in design and function that no one else could ever seem to capture. We all saw and interacted with this creative genius through his line of Apple products. NASCAR Driver of the U.S. Army Chevrolet Ryan Newman was a big fan of Jobs and his creative sense. “Look I have an iPhone and iPad just like the next guy. Those products just knock your socks off.” Said Newman, who goes on to explain what else he loved about the iconic Apple CEO. “Like I said, iMac, got that. But what not many people know is that I have a closet full of turtlenecks. Newman went on to say that he first fell in love with the turtleneck four years ago when Jobs walked across that stage and introduced the first iPhone to the world. “I just couldn’t take my eyes off his neck. I just thought it looked really classy in like a futuristic way. I had to get one.” The unfortunate thing for Newman, what he would soon come to grips with, is that he just didn’t have the neck to pull it off. “Was I pissed? Yeah! Was I looking at myself in the mirror asking myself why me? Hell yeah! It took me a really long time to get over that.” Newman has it all, thuggish good looks, average height, smokin’ hot wife, a dog, a vast baseball card collection, and a flourishing career in NASCAR that doesn’t seem to be applying the break anytime soon. But, he does not have a neck. “Look you don’t have to tell me, it goes shoulders then head. There is nothing in between. But I do have a lot. I have a lot dammit.” Newman closes the closet door full of turtlenecks. Turtlenecks with their tags still on. “Who knows. One day when I’m old and lost all this baby fat, there might be a neck in there somewhere. That’s when I’ll grab that turtleneck, rip the tag off and wear it. Just wear it. I won’t look as good as Steve Jobs, but I’ll look damn good.” Neck or no neck, Newman has to stick something out this Sunday at Kansas. He sits 11th in points and desperately needs a strong finish. The husky guy went on to say, ” If I win this championship I might just take the prize money and get one of those neck extensions. They can do those, right” We’re not sure Ryan. But thanks to Steve Jobs there’s probably an app for that.

Johnson on winning a sixth Cup Championship, ” You know, I’m pretty good with just five.”

alittleloose — Wed, 05 Oct 2011 21:00:01 +0000

Five time Sprint Cup champion Jimmy Johnson was recently asked how much he was gunning for a sixth championship after his second place performance at Dover this past weekend. His reply, “Aagh…it’s been a really long year. You know I’m pretty good with just five.” Johnson went on to explain that he has really gotten into the Showtime television series “Dexter”, which had its season premier this past Sunday. “I love that show ‘Dexter’! Michael C. Hall is such a good actor. You know, I really just want to place my focus for the rest of this chase on figuring out how Dexter will take out the latest serial killer stalking Miami.” Johnson finished up by saying, “Dexter has had a lot of close calls. It will be interesting to see how this all turns out.” Judging from Johnson’s comments, he has the killer instinct to take out all the competition and snag that sixth championship whether he wants it or not.